All in a day’s quiz II

Disaster has a twin!

A week after the encounter with the dancing-bather, Prof. Rangarajan asked me to assist with a quiz for an organization promoting Science amongst school children and provided a contact.

My contact told me that I would have to just read out the questions from the sheet and that was it. I was happy, a simple one. I go, read out a few questions, make a few funny comments, and come back.

The first let-downer was that the venue was a good 30+ Kms from my house. The second was that it was on a Saturday, a working day for me. I planned to be back at work by 11 am.

On quiz day, I rode all the way to the school where the quiz was to be done and counted 6 teachers and 7 students. I called my contact and he told me that he was busy with other locations and would get back later.

I had bought a dark Louis Philippe shirt and a matching pant the previous day and wore them proudly. For about half an hour (seemed a very long time), I stood at the edge of the crowd (?) and waited for someone to recognize and greet me. More teachers and students arrived, but still no luck. They all avoided me like plague.

Finally, one guy peeled off from the crowd and greeted me. The conversation went thus:

Me: Hi

He: (Nodding his head) Why are you here?

Me: (I was taken aback by the tone and rudeness of the question) to conduct the quiz...

He: English?

Me: Yes.

He: I am also English … (after a pause) I am a chartered accountant.

A gentleman thrust a bunch of papers in my hand said “questions” and left.

To evade the Englishman, I glanced at the questions, and was shocked to see 3 sets of question papers, each with 8 sections, each section with 10 questions including a printed visual round in which all the people and objects were in varying shades of black. I asked the Englishman about the 3 sets. He sniggered and said “don’t you know?” One each for 6-8/9-10/+2. I had a very bad feeling about this. “And there is a Tamil quiz also” he added helpfully.

I did some quick math. That was 240 questions per language!! The “paperman” appeared and whisked the visual sheets away remarking “will copy and return.”

Englishman grabbed the remaining papers from my hands and said “I will see.” (The same tone Charlton Heston used when he parted the Red Sea as Moses). He started to number them though they were already numbered and stapled neatly. After this, he hugged the papers close to his chest like a college girl (for various reasons)hugging her books. I cunningly offered to let him do the quiz all by himself but he said “I do Tamil, you do English” Tamil had a full-house and English had a motley bunch (clever man!).

Resigned to my fate, I went up. There were 2 teams in 6-8 and 9-10, but only one team in +2. I felt lucky. I suggested that they be declared winners immediately and we get on with other two segments. My contact arrived and firmly told me that even if one team, I have to read out all the questions. Mind you, both Prof. and I agreed to this in good faith and were doing this out of goodwill (read no money). I gritted my teeth and got on with the +2 section…

Most questions were framed badly and I had to speak English in Tamil most of the time. Strangely, more questions were answered by the lower grades than the non-competing, already-winner team!

I got on with the other two sections, interrupted only by a teacher from one of the schools helping her pupils with answers in a stage whisper now and then. Her school won a thrilling victory in the final round. After a break for sugary tea and oily vadas, which I passed, I completed the last segment. Paperman did not bring in the visual rounds after copying and I thought that was my piece of luck.

The questions were a different story. One round on Tamil literature (?) in a science quiz. Here are two samples.

1. Where is the most beautiful beach in the world? (Ans- Marina Chennai – don’t ask me why).
2. Where was the first World Classical Tamil conference held (Ans – A month ago in Coimbatore – that was a tough one right?)

I rushed out, submitted the results and bid goodbye. Englishman was quizzing to a full-house and going strong. My contact offered me lunch, I declined. He told me they were holding it in 3 locations (one of which much nearer to town), adding helpfully that he had other people taking care of that but no one wanted to come so far. I fixed a smile firmly on my face and ran away.

As I kick-started my self-start bike, a crow shat allover my new shirt … I almost cried out in agony but ended up in a primeval grunt. A lady teacher passing by with her students stared at me and pulled her wards closer. I raced back to work…

I was in a foul mood throughout the day but thinking back, the one silver lining was the eager faces of children participating. For that, I suppose I can brave the heat, travel, rude people, and an occasional diarrheal crow!